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Empathy - A Police Officer's Superpower - By Sheronda Grant




Officers Laughing with Resident
Officers Laughing with Resident

The Importance of Understanding the Emotions of Others


By understanding the emotions of others, officers can establish trust and cooperation with the residents we have the privilege of serving. It's important to remember that when people call police, they call us because they believe they have no other options available. They call us because they need our help. Although these calls may be challenging depending on the emotional state the individual is in, if we take a moment (when possible and when safe) to understand why the person is acting or responding the way they are, we are in a better place to reduce the intensity of the encounter.


The Importance of Understanding Your Own Emotions


First, we should understand our own emotions and map them accordingly. If we are tense, upset, or irritated, it’s possible to transfer our emotional state onto others during our interactions. If you are dealing with negative emotions, before interacting with the public, take a moment to understand how you feel and why you feel that way. Then, set those negative emotions aside until you have time to process them. By holding on to negative emotions, your mood, tone, and body language could negatively impact your encounters with the public.


How I Deal with Negative Emotions


When I’m upset or sad about a situation, I allow myself to acknowledge my feelings. I attempt to understand what triggered the emotion, and if I have time to process it, I do. I don't want to be controlled by negativity or let negative energy impact my engagements and relationships with others. When I’m really fired up about something, I use deep breathing exercises to calm me down. During this time, I don’t answer the phone, and I refrain from sending text messages or emails until I’ve gained control over any negative emotions.

I then ask myself whether this painful or negative feeling will assist me in accomplishing my objective. Generally, the answer is no. Therefore, I move that emotion aside before engaging with others. When I have time, I carefully and thoughtfully dissect the cause of the emotion. My goal is to always be in control of the way I feel, and understanding what triggers me is a key component of that.

While I’m still a work in progress, I’ve read a variety of books on emotional intelligence and even teach a course on the subject. I've learned not to suppress negative emotions; instead, I deal with them when time allows because I don’t want to implode or explode.


Interacting with a Variety of People with a Variety of Emotions


I've been fortunate to spend my 20-plus year law enforcement career policing in a major city. While on patrol, I've encountered numerous individuals experiencing a wide range of complex emotions. Each call for service, traffic stop, welfare check, and assignment was unique because each person was different. Nothing was routine, as I never knew what type of emotion or personality I would encounter.


I cannot count the number of times I've been cursed out and called names. There have been times that I’ve interacted with people who sobbed uncontrollably due to grief. I’ve encountered individuals so shocked and dazed from what they witnessed that they couldn't find the words to express what occurred.


As a patrol officer and patrol sergeant, I responded to several serious incidents, including shootings and homicides. During those situations, emotions often ran high. During some of those encounters, my fellow officers and I were the recipients of much yelling and disrespect. During other encounters, I’ve also held weeping mothers in my arms and prayed with residents who needed encouragement.  


Emotional Intelligence Matters, especially when a Person is in Crisis


As I matured in the profession, I gained wisdom and insight, realizing that when a person calls the police, they may be having a bad day. It might be the worst day of their lives, and then I, a police officer, show up. How am I going to respond? Am I going to make their day worse?


So, when you show up, if possible, take a moment to understand why the person feels the way they do. Avoid matching their negative energy if they exhibit it. Stay calm and level-headed throughout the encounter so that you make the best decision possible without leaning into your emotions.


Instead of speaking condescendingly, de-escalate the situation by listening. Use your active listening skills to show them that you want to understand and that you're there to help. Be respectful. Most importantly, remember one day you may need the help that you provide. What type of officer do you want to respond to your "bad" day? Give the resident the officer that you want.

 



 


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