Every Workplace Game has a Name

By Sheronda D. Grant, founder of We Are Strong Enough

You know that moment.

That moment when someone repeats your idea in the meeting, two minutes after you said it, and the room reacts like they just invented fire.

Or that moment when you've been waiting on an answer for three weeks and every time you ask, it's "still under review."

Or you bring up a real problem and somehow you're the one who gets labeled difficult.

Most people in that moment feel two things at once: certainty that something is wrong, and doubt about whether they're allowed to call it that. That gap — between knowing and naming — is where toxic environments do their best work.

There's a way through it. Three steps. In this order. Every time.

RECOGNIZE. RESPOND. REFUSE.

Step 1: Recognize

You cannot overcome what you cannot name.

Credit grabbing. Gatekeeping. Gaslighting. Slow-rolling. Set up to fail. Queen Bee. Divide and conquer. These aren't personality quirks. They're moves. They have names, and once you know the names, you stop being surprised by them.

That's the shift. You go from reacting to the last thing that happened to seeing the pattern before the next move in the campaign arrives.

Step 2: Respond

Not emotional. Not retaliatory. Not in a way that hands them the narrative. Professional. Ethical. Strategic.

When someone takes your credit, you say it back into the room: "When I developed this approach…" Right there, in real time, in front of the people who need to hear it.

When you're being slow-rolled, you document the timeline and escalate before it becomes a crisis: "I want to flag a timeline risk to leadership so we can address it now."

When someone gaslights you, your notes are your anchor to reality: "My notes from our conversation on that date reflect that we agreed to X."

When you're being set up to fail, you put the ask in writing before you ever start: "To execute this successfully I will need X, Y, and Z. I want to confirm those resources are available before we proceed."

Every one of these is calm. Every one of these is documented. Every one of these keeps you in control of the story.

Step 3: Refuse

This is the one people skip. It's also the one that matters most.

The most dangerous thing a toxic environment does isn't what it does to your career. It's what it tempts you to become.

The officer who was gatekept becomes the gatekeeper. The one who was set up to fail starts setting others up. The one who made it through alone decides everyone behind her should make it through alone too. That's how it perpetuates itself — across ranks, across generations, across departments.

Refuse to become that.

Give credit, even when the culture doesn't require it. Share information, even when hoarding it would protect your position. Open doors for the person behind you, even though no one opened them for you. Name problems, even when silence gets rewarded. Hold yourself to a standard that doesn't move based on what's convenient.

Your integrity isn't just personal. It's systemic. When you lead with it, you change the environment for everyone who comes after you.

That's not a burden. That's a legacy.

Which step are you currently skipping — recognizing the pattern, responding without losing yourself, or refusing to become what tried to stop you?

Sheronda D. Grant is a senior law enforcement executive and founder of We Are Strong Enough, a leadership development platform for law enforcement professionals. More at wearestrongenough.com.